And, to carry on a theme from the post below, when you have a group of celibate, never-married men trying to dictate sexual practices, this is what you get:
"Suppressing fertility by using contraception denies part of the inherent meaning of married sexuality and does harm the couple's unity," according to "Married Love and the Gift of Life." "The total giving of oneself, body and soul, to one's beloved is no time to say: 'I give you everything I am -- except.' "
Of course, as anyone who has actually, you know, been married can tell you. it's the fear of an unwanted child that "denies part of the inherent meaning of married sexuality and does harm to the couple's unity." I know that the men in skirts and red shoes don't understand this, but sex, in or out of marriage, has many meanings and "Let's make a baby" is actually one of the rarer meanings. Sometimes, sex doesn't mean, "We want to bring another child into the world." Sometimes it means," I love you, I want to connect with you without fear," or "I want some comfort," or, "Let's reaffirm our attraction to each other," or "Let's make up," and, sometimes, "I'm horny, let's have sex."
In fact, trying to have sex while terrified that you might conceive a child that you don't want, or can't afford, or won't have time for, or that will impair your health, or that will damage, through too much stress, your marriage itself, is what can make it impossible to totally give yourelf, body and soul, to your beloved.
Really, the Catholic Church isn't "countercultural" about contraception. The Catholic Church is dead fucking wrong about contraception. The planet is too fucking small for all the people who are here already. Being perpetually pregnant is not good for women's health, nor, for many women, for their sanity. Throughout the world, including the U.S., most families need for mothers to work outside the home to earn money -- something that's possible with one or two children but that becomes increasingly difficult with each extra child. Large families are expensive and the larger a family is, the more likely it is to be poverty-stricken.
Really, the Catholic bishops need to quit trying to control sex. You can't win a "war on sex." Sex is bigger than the Catholic Church and the genie of birth control, which has saved millions of women's lives and millions of marriages, is not going to go back in the bottle, no matter how many times the bishops order it to do so.
8 comments:
Excellent post, Hecate. Old celibate (or predatory) white guys dictating the rules for a game they claim not to play is bad enough. The complete lack of caring about any of the results -- a healthy child that must be raised, a sickly child that must be cared for, a career that must be abandoned, whatever -- just makes it all the more disgusting.
I hope we may be in the "second" of the "three popes" rule. The problem with the Catholic hierarchy is that while they think they deal with the consequences of unplanned pregnancy every day, they don't wake up with it every night for a year, and they don't have to buy shoes and clothing and food for it for 18+ years, etc. etc. They're just arrogant enough, however, to think that they deal with the consequences of the unplanned child every day/
Being perpetually pregnant is not good for women's health, nor, for many women, for their sanity.
Shit, tell me about it! My mom bore 11, raised 10. The older I get, the less I'm inclined to diss her for any failings, but instead to marvel that she didn't go nutzoid and whack us all.
Of course, if mom had been able to cut off the family when she wanted, I wouldn't be here, but my older sibs would've been a whole lot happier.
Ah, yes. Every sperm is sacred. What about all that priestly spilt seed? Goodness knows, that must be different. I guess you only have to acknowledge and face consequences if you're a straight, married couple abiding by the so-called rules of the Catholic church. Once again, it's the rule-followers who get bit in the ass and those who make the rules who break them, repeatedly.
The weird guys in red are just jealous because they don't get any. Well ... emmm ... probably that isn't true. Forget I brought it up.
It always comes back to growth of a religion. The more children that are born within the religion, the faster it grows. Many xian fundamentalists push for the women to bear as many children as possible. The Mormon polygamists believe a child a year for each woman. One group even has a saying, "A woman is a vessel to be worn out in childbearing."
Check out Quiverfull. That's scary.
Fuck them.
Who the hell listens to this BS anymore?
Wow. Just wow. You're absolutely right. I have no experience: an only child with not one good relationship to my name, but you're absolutely right. This religion thing gives me a headache.
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