Friday, March 14, 2008

New Rules

I was driving around Bethesda today, running a bunch of errands, and, as I sat in traffic, I couldn't help but notice a number of completely bleached-out "Support the Troops" ribbon-shaped magnets on the backs of SUVs.

Here's what I think. If your war lasts longer than the dye on the cheap Chinese pieces of shit that are sold to promote it, you lose. That's it. War over. Bring the troops home.

On the way home, I stopped to get gas and buy a Diet Coke. When I paid for the Diet Coke, I noticed that, behind the cash register, for sale, were two bumper stickers. One said, "This is America. Speak American." The other said, "Society of Americans in Favor of America for Americans." So I said to the gentleman of Middle Eastern extraction behind the cash register, "Gee, those bumper stickers are offensive. I don't like them. They make this place seem racist." He says to me, in broken English, "I know. Owner. He put them up. So far, we sell not one. Many people, they are telling me the same as you."

Here's what I think. If you're going to hire immigrants at minimum wage to run the cash register at your gas and go and you're going to pretend that speaking English is a prerequisite to living in America, you have to pay to send your employees to the community college for ESOL. And pay them for their time. Otherwise, you can shove your dickwad bumperstickers up your ass.

It's amazing that I ever manage to get anything done.


Apprentice to Darth Holden said...

Good rules.

They won't be followed, because the initial sentiment that the rules address is posturing without meaning anyway, but good rules nevertheless

Luna said...

You are so right on. This kind of stuff makes me twitch.

firefly said...

I am so dying to leave a note on an SUV windshield that says, "you better damn well support the troops, asshole -- they're giving their lives so you can drive this obscene behemoth."

And isn't it odd how many of these huge vehicles are named things like "Tundra" and "Avalanche"? The association with global warming must miss the marketing people entirely.