The Plan For What If

Here's what I want the leadership of the Democratic Party to announce within the next few days: The Plan For What If.

Look, I think we all have to work like bloody hell to turn out the vote in the next week+. Shit. I'm handing out campaign literature for a sexist Reagan appointee like Jim Webb on the entirely-sound theory that he's still better for women than G. Felix Allen, Jr. and that, given a choice between total fucking evil and just kinda-sorta evil, I'll take kinda-sorta, thank you very much, Mam.

But what I want to hear, and what I'm not hearing, is the plan for What If. Everyone's happy and excited that the poll numbers show that the Democrats will take Congress, for sure, and maybe, maybe, maybe even the Senate. Latest polls show us ahead -- whee! Surely the Republicans can't steal this one! It would be too blatant! Too many people expect the Democrats to win, this time! They'd never dare.

For the love of Goddess. Do we ever get tired of acting like Charlie Fucking Brown running up to kick the bejezus out of that football that Lucy is holding for us? Ever? Or are we the party of the perpetually punked?

Of course they dare. Of course they fucking dare. Number one, what fucking choice do they have? If you're Dick Cheney, are you just going to stand back and allow the party that will investigate everything from your Secret Energy Commission Plan to Divvy Up the Iraq Oil Fields and Ass-Fuck California to your Haliburton Stock to your lying the country into war to waltz into power? And, number two, please name for me the last time that you said, "They wouldn't fucking dare," and it turned out that they actually didn't dare??? They wouldn't dare shit on Max Cleland, a war hero and amputee? If we run Kerry, they'd never dare attack his war record and purple hearts? If Michael Moore shows what they're up to, they'd never dare argue back that he's fat? They'd never dare attack the mother of a slain soldier? They'd never dare spy on Americans? They'd never dare abolish habeas corpus? They'd never dare attack a beloved cripple with Parkinson's disease? They'd never dare attack pages stalked by a Republican Congressman? They'd never dare just make up lies and run them as campaign ads? WTF? Of course they'd dare? Why shouldn't they? When have their dares ever cost them shit?

And, yet, it happens election after election. And every time, the Democratic leadership has no plan. What if we wake up on November 8th and the talking heads are telling us about the Republicans' amazing last minute turn around based upon (take your pick) the tape of Osama bin Laden, Hussein's sentencing, our atomic attack on Iran, what negative ads the Democrats ran, how Americans turned against those nasty netroots, what poor candidates the Dems ran, the value voters who did turn out for Karl Rove one more time, the magical green shamrocks and delicious pink stars??????

Yeah, I'm going to work like hell over the next few days for a Democratic victory. However, we've spent two years since we got punked the last time and no one's come up with any strategy better than hoping that we won't get fooled again.

But what if we do? What's our plan for that eventuality? Imagine if, right now, all the Dems started saying that there will be a major rally in every major city in this country on Nov. 12th and it will either be a victory rally following a Democratic takeover of Congress or it will be a rally to oppose rigged elections?

Or, we can all stay home on the 12th and say, ah, if only Webb had been more . If Lamont had only . Well, Candidate X could have . Next time, we'll .

I'm tired of this bullshit.