Patriarchy longs to set up a rivalry between Mothers of Sons and our Daughters-in-Law; it's one of patriarchy's most toxic myths. My mom and her mother-in-law (my paternal grandmother) managed to dislike each other and to snipe at each other for decades and decades, to neither of their benefits, making my dad pretty miserable in the meantime. (Sometime, I'll tell you the story of the year's-long Battle of the Thermostat. It's not pretty.)
Luckily, I don't believe the lies that patriarchy tells, and, besides, Son married a woman so cool, so grounded, so kind in every situation, so witty, so kick-ass, so generous of spirit, so Alia-of-the-Knife in the courtroom, so beautiful, so creative in the kitchen, and so flat-out-fabulous as a mother, that I simply adore her.
Today is important to our family not so much because it's Valentine's Day, although we love Valentine's Day, but because today is DiL's birthday. I'm lucky that she came into the world and lucky that she married Son. She's a true Aquarian and I love her very much. Her birthday this year has been marred by the snow; none of us could get out and shop as we wished. But I hope that she knows that we love her and I thank the Goddess for her every single day.
Fuck the lies of patriarchy. Two women who love the same guy ought to be good friends.
Happy birthday, DiL!
Picture found here.
2 comments:
When my mom passed last fall, I was immensely comforted in knowing that she & my wife Mary loved each other profoundly. And that our daughter had a chance to know & love her grandma.
AMEN!!!
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